A man walking along a California beach

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to".
The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".
The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside , what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"
God took a deep breath and said, "YOU WANT TWO LANES OR FOUR ON THAT BRIDGE???"

Man to God

Man to God: why Did you make Woman so Pretty?

God: so you would Love her

Man: But Why did you make Her So Dumb?

God: So she would Love you.

I could go to the end of the world

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.

Thinnest Book

What is the
thinnest book in the
world?
What Men know
about Women

How To Make A Woman Happy

How to Make a Woman Happy


It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6.. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37.. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes



HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Small Smile

Fly Abroad

Who was the first Indian woman to fly abroad?
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Sitaji with Raavan.

The design of the sari

Lady : The design of the sari is excellent. But the colour is not good.

Salesman : Don't worry madam. The colour will disappear after the first wash.

I do not want to marry

Man 1:- I do not want to marry because I am afraid of ALL women.

Man 2:- Get married soon, then you will be afraid of only one woman and start loving other women.

A young woman

A young woman several months pregnant boarded a bus. She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing...........She had him arrested. When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She first sat under an advertisement, Which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins' . I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under a shaving advertisement, Which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick '. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, Which read: ' Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.' And The case was dismissed... .....!!!

Your place or mine?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I"m going to mine.
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell