Love is like Docomo, do the New.
Mariage is idea
can change Ur life
Wife is Hutch, where ever you go she folows
But
Frienship is Airtel ek atut bandhan
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
TUM BADE HOKAR
TEACHER : TUM BADE HOKAR KYA KAROGE?
BOY : SHADI
TEACHER : NAHI, MERA MATLAB KYA BANOGE?
BOY : DULHA,
TEACHER : OHO, I MEAN KYA HASIL KARNA CHAHTE HO?
BOY : DULHAN
BOY : SHADI
TEACHER : NAHI, MERA MATLAB KYA BANOGE?
BOY : DULHA,
TEACHER : OHO, I MEAN KYA HASIL KARNA CHAHTE HO?
BOY : DULHAN
Shadi Ke din
Baap : beta shadi ke din sasural walay
ghadi dein to tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein to tu car mang lena,
dukan dien to tu ghar...
Beta: Daddy ladki dein to uski maa mang lun ?
ghadi dein to tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein to tu car mang lena,
dukan dien to tu ghar...
Beta: Daddy ladki dein to uski maa mang lun ?
papa jaldi meri
son- papa jaldi meri shadi kara do ni to mai dadi se shadi kar lunga.
papa- oye tu meri maa se shadi kyo karenga??
son- kyon,apne b to meri maa se shadi ki hai....
papa- oye tu meri maa se shadi kyo karenga??
son- kyon,apne b to meri maa se shadi ki hai....
Need one girl
Hi!...Need one girl to marry......Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own Bar........cheers..!!
An American Marriage
An American Daughter: Dad, I got married yesterday evening. I forgot to inform you.
Daddy: Its ok my child. But next time you should invite me.
Daddy: Its ok my child. But next time you should invite me.
I do not want to marry
Man 1:- I do not want to marry because I am afraid of ALL women.
Man 2:- Get married soon, then you will be afraid of only one woman and start loving other women.
Man 2:- Get married soon, then you will be afraid of only one woman and start loving other women.
You will marry
You will marry by all means. If you get a good wife then you will be very happy. If you get a bad wife you will become a philosopher.
CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL THIS JOKE TO YOUR FRIENDS
CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL THIS JOKE TO YOUR FRIENDS
Expiry Date
Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...? You have been reading our marriage certificate from two hours.
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.
CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL THIS JOKE TO YOUR FRIENDS
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...? You have been reading our marriage certificate from two hours.
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.
CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL THIS JOKE TO YOUR FRIENDS
You love someone
You love someone
You marry to someone else.
The one you marry becomes your wife or husband.
And the one you loved becomes the password of your E-Mail ID
CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS
You marry to someone else.
The one you marry becomes your wife or husband.
And the one you loved becomes the password of your E-Mail ID
CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS
When do you CONGRATULATE
*Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.
*Four Ants were moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is alone and we are four.
*one good news and one bad news
Good News:
Buy 1 kg Tomato and get Nokia N96 FREE...!!
Bad News:
1 kg. Tomato is 32,000 Rs.!!!!
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.
*Four Ants were moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is alone and we are four.
*one good news and one bad news
Good News:
Buy 1 kg Tomato and get Nokia N96 FREE...!!
Bad News:
1 kg. Tomato is 32,000 Rs.!!!!
One GOOD way
*One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
*A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband made a wish and threw a coin in the well .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while and then smiled saying " It really works ! "
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
*A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband made a wish and threw a coin in the well .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while and then smiled saying " It really works ! "
If you are married
If you are married please ignore this message, for everyone else.......... Happy Independence Day
Is there any way for long life?
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Heated gold becomes ornament
1) Heated gold becomes ornament,
Beated copper becomes wire,
Depleted stone becomes statue,
Tortured students become… Engineers!
2) I would love
to take u for dinner,
Make u sit beside the candle,
Shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words
in your ear…
“Pay the bill”
3) When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
4) Its funny when people discuss over
Love marriage and arranged marriage
It is like asking a person if he would
Like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.
5) guy in an interview to interview person: Do you know english?
guy: Yes
interview person: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of naag panchami?
guy: So simple sir… Naag do not punch me.
Beated copper becomes wire,
Depleted stone becomes statue,
Tortured students become… Engineers!
2) I would love
to take u for dinner,
Make u sit beside the candle,
Shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words
in your ear…
“Pay the bill”
3) When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
4) Its funny when people discuss over
Love marriage and arranged marriage
It is like asking a person if he would
Like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.
5) guy in an interview to interview person: Do you know english?
guy: Yes
interview person: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of naag panchami?
guy: So simple sir… Naag do not punch me.
Woman has man in it
1) Woman has man in it,
Mrs has mr in it,
Female has male in it,
Madam has Adam in it,
So girls r always incomplete without boys.
2) guy to lady : What is the name of ur car
Lady : I forgot its name but it starts from ‘T’.
guy : ooh...its astonishing......! wonderful.....! your car starts from ‘tea’. My car starts from 'petrol'
3) Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a big car like rohit.
But i really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
4) Consequences of modern life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
5) Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 liter
6) He came at night,
Explored my body,
Got on top of me,
Touched me,
He bit, sucked swallowed &
When he was satisfied
He left, i was hurt,
Bloody MOSQUITO!
Mrs has mr in it,
Female has male in it,
Madam has Adam in it,
So girls r always incomplete without boys.
2) guy to lady : What is the name of ur car
Lady : I forgot its name but it starts from ‘T’.
guy : ooh...its astonishing......! wonderful.....! your car starts from ‘tea’. My car starts from 'petrol'
3) Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a big car like rohit.
But i really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
4) Consequences of modern life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
5) Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 liter
6) He came at night,
Explored my body,
Got on top of me,
Touched me,
He bit, sucked swallowed &
When he was satisfied
He left, i was hurt,
Bloody MOSQUITO!
A teacher asked his class
1) A teacher asked his class to give example of coincidence.
There was silence for a few seconds.
Then a small boy said “My father and mother were married on the same day.”
2) Bachelor is like Airtel- Aise azadi aur kahan.
After married Reliance- Apni duniya biwi ki mutthi me.
After child Hutch- Wherever u go network follows.
3) A boy goes to see a cabaret dance.
His mom goes angry and asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
4) guy1: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?
guy2: Yes, Its Post office.
5) An old man needed vitamins for grandson.
old man: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir which one, vitamin A, B or C?
old man: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
6) He was searching high and low, all over the living room.
She asked him: What are you searching?
He: “Hidden cameras”
She: And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?
He: Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying,
You are watching the star world channel. “How can he know what I am watching?”
There was silence for a few seconds.
Then a small boy said “My father and mother were married on the same day.”
2) Bachelor is like Airtel- Aise azadi aur kahan.
After married Reliance- Apni duniya biwi ki mutthi me.
After child Hutch- Wherever u go network follows.
3) A boy goes to see a cabaret dance.
His mom goes angry and asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
4) guy1: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?
guy2: Yes, Its Post office.
5) An old man needed vitamins for grandson.
old man: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir which one, vitamin A, B or C?
old man: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
6) He was searching high and low, all over the living room.
She asked him: What are you searching?
He: “Hidden cameras”
She: And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?
He: Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying,
You are watching the star world channel. “How can he know what I am watching?”
Reaction of girls when they loose their purse
Reaction of girls when they loose their purse:
Poor girls: My money!
Rich girls: My debit card!
Beautiful girl: O shit! my new lipstick
***************************************************************************************
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means: Without Information Fighting Every time!
Wife says: No, It means With Idiot forever.
***************************************************************************************
Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
A: On their Wedding !
*************************************************************************************
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life!
************************************************************************************
Q: Why doesn’t the law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence !
*************************************************************************************
Poor girls: My money!
Rich girls: My debit card!
Beautiful girl: O shit! my new lipstick
***************************************************************************************
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means: Without Information Fighting Every time!
Wife says: No, It means With Idiot forever.
***************************************************************************************
Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
A: On their Wedding !
*************************************************************************************
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life!
************************************************************************************
Q: Why doesn’t the law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence !
*************************************************************************************
Before the marriage
Before the marriage:
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love
me ?
Boy: Of course!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from
bellow to up, start with second last line :) !!!
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love
me ?
Boy: Of course!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from
bellow to up, start with second last line :) !!!
It’s funny
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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