A cute new Born

A cute new Born baby asked the Doctor
Do you have Message pack?
Doctor: ya I have but why?
Baby: Send a Message to God that have I reached safely and send My Girl Friend Soon .

Doctor To Patient

Patient: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.

Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

Doctor to patient

Doctor to patient : You will die within two hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?

Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

One morning at a doctors clinic

One morning at a doctors clinic. A patient visits complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him "OK, what happened to your back?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and there was nobody. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him and I got back pain"

The second patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car accident. The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look very serious. What the hell happened to you? "He replied, "I have been unemployed recently. Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and I was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."

The third patient arrives. He looked even worse than the other two patients do. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to you ?"
" I was sitting in a fridge and someone threw it from the third floor "

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A Boy Wrote A Love Letter

A Boy Wrote A Love Letter From His Blood For A Medical Girl And Said "Please Give Me Your Reply Soon And Surly". Next Day The Girl Replied...........

Blood Group Is B+

Hemoglobin Is 8gm

Sugar Is 120

Pending Fees Is 180/-

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The Bad NEWS

Surgeon: I have some bad news and some very bad news for you.

Patient: OK. Tell me the bad news first.

Surgeon: We received your test results from lab. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS.......! That's horrible.....! What's the very bad news?

Surgeon: I have been trying to reach and tell you this since yesterday.

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Is there any way for long life?

Man: Is there any way for long life?

Doctor: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Once there was an Engineer & a Doctor

Once there was an Engineer & a Doctor planning to sell their brains.
Engineer: Because I am an engineer I would sell my brain for 1 million dollars.
Doctor : I think i should demand 5 million dollars. We save others lives and we are the doctors.
Meanwhile a Friend of them (who was listening to these guys)suddenly says:Thats all, this is the cost of your brains, can you guess how much I would sell my brain?
Both engineer & doctor says : How much?
Friend : " I would sell my brain for 50 billion dollars!". To this ,with great amazement both engineer & doctor ask him "Why,what's great in your brain ? He says: because I have never used my brain.

Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Husband: For U and ur parents.

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Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger.
son: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.

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Girl sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a Person asked what she was doing.
She replied : Higher Studies Man !!!

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Husband on phone “Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Husband: No this is her husband speaking…

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Ravan decides to apologize to Ram.
Ram opens the door.
Ravan blankly stares at Ram & can you guess what he is thinking?

" from which mouth to talk "

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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.

“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.”

problem

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what I just said.

When did you first notice this problem?

What problem?

visit doctor

guy1: Today u told me that u are going to visit doctor?

guy2: yeah......but i will go tomorrow, because am sick today

dog’s tail

Doctor cut off my dog’s tail.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us &
I don’t want anything 2 make her think
she’s welcomed.