Hey, I thought that this would be a fun way to get to know someone so you have to fill this out and send it back to me
o.k. this out.
FULL NAME IN ENGLISH:
FULL NAME IN YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE:
AGE:
bLOOD TYPE:
hEIGHT:
WEIGHT:
BIRTHDATE:
FAVORITE QUOTE:
LOCATION:
EYE COLOR:
HAIR COLOR:
FAVORITE COLOR:
FAVORITE RELATIVE:
WHAT COLLEGE DO YOU WANT TO ATTEND:
FAVORITE PERSON TO SHOP WITH:
GUYS WITH OR WITHOUT HATS:
GIRLS, WITH OR WITHOUT NAILPOLISH:
FAVORITE DRINK IN THE FRIDGE:
FAVORITE MOVIE:
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD:
WHAT'S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER:
DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF HOT OR CUTE:
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:
FAVORITE ONLINE BUDDIES:
FAVORITE GAME:
FAVORITE SMELL:
SCARIEST PERSON DRINKS, WITH OR WITHOUT ICE CUBES:
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
FAVORITE THING TO DO ON WEEKEND:
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOUSELF IN TEN YEARS:
FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING:
TEACHERS-FRIENDS OR ENEMIES:
DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE AND PAGER:
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS:
ROLLERCOASTERS-DEADLY OR EXCITING:
PEN OR PENCIL:
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE ANSWERING THE PHONE:
COOLEST THING ABOUT YOUR HOME:
FUTURE SON NAME:
DAUGHTER NAME:
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY THE MOST:
DO YOU LIKE CAKE:
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE:
GIRLS-CURLY OR STRAIGHT HAIR:
GUYS-HAIR OR NO HAIR:
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL:
THUNDERSTORMS-COOL OR SCARY:
FAVORITE BANDS:
FAVORITE SONG:
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THE FUTURE:
MOST EMBARRASSING CD IN YOUR COLLECTION:
MOST MEMORABLE BUMPER STICKER:
CLASS YOU LOVE THE MOST IN SCHOOL:
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME:
ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF:
NUMBER OF TIMES YOU SAW TITANIC:
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN THE THEATERS:
WHAT MOVIE MADE YOU CRY:
WHAT COLOR COMFORTER DO YOU HAVE:
HOW MANY CD's IN YOUR COLLECTION:
WHEN IS YOUR VACATION:
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ABROAD, WHERE:
FAVORITE TOY:
SEAFOOD?:
COFFEE DRINKER:
TEA DRINKER:
WHO'S YOUR CRUSH:
SHOWER AT NIGHT OR MORNING:
WHAT MOVIE HAVE YOU WATCHED THE MOST TIMES:
WHAT IS THE MOST ROMANTIC SONG:
GUYS WITH MUSCLES- ATTRACTIVE OR NOT:
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE:
DO YOU SMOKE?:
DO YOU LIKE ALCOHOL:
WHAT'S YOUR DREAM:
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL TYPE:
DO YOU HAVE ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS:
HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK:
WHAT'S YOUR NATIVE TONGUE:
WHAT'S YOUR RELIGION:
Do you have much hair on your chest:
IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, WILL YOU RAISE THEM AS YOU WERE RAISED?
WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY RIGHT NOW?
WHAT KIND OF CAR WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE:
DO YOU THINK KOREA WILL UNIFY PEACEFULLY:
WHAT IS YOUR BUSIEST DAY OF THE WEEK? WHY:
DO YOU GO TO SLEEP AT THE SAME TIME EVERY NIGHT, WHAT TIME DO YOU USUALLY GO TO SLEEP:
WHEN DO YOU PLAN TO GET MARRIED:
WHEN YOU MAKE A DATE, DO YOU USUALLY GET THERE ON TIME:
WHAT TIME DO YOU USUALLY EAT DINNER. DO YOU EVER SKIP MEALS:
WHAT WAS THE BEST GIFT YOU EVER GOT:
DID YOU EVER KISS A GIRL/BOY:
what is the height of
what is the height of active laziness?
ans:-asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk
ans:-asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk
This cat, is cat
1) This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !… Now read it without the word cat.
2) The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting. The lion has come, the tiger has come, the elephant has come, the monkey has come.. But The meeting hasn’t started. Guess why ? Because the Donkey is busy reading this SMS!
2) The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting. The lion has come, the tiger has come, the elephant has come, the monkey has come.. But The meeting hasn’t started. Guess why ? Because the Donkey is busy reading this SMS!
Could u fax me ur photo
1) Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u - it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very important …
I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.
2) God made man and then rested,
god made women and then no one rested.
3) Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof,
roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.
4) Life without u is impossible,
u r in my breath and blood.
i cant stay for a second without u,
if u r not there i am dead
hello....i am talking about OXYGEN
5) Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realized. My apologies on behalf of the whole world.
6) The more I learn the more I get to know,
the more I know the more I forget,
the more I forget the less I know,
so why should I be learning??
7) What is wrong with your cell every time i call, a voice comes that the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey, plz contact zoo for detail.
Mind u - it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very important …
I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.
2) God made man and then rested,
god made women and then no one rested.
3) Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof,
roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof,
poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.
Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.
4) Life without u is impossible,
u r in my breath and blood.
i cant stay for a second without u,
if u r not there i am dead
hello....i am talking about OXYGEN
5) Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realized. My apologies on behalf of the whole world.
6) The more I learn the more I get to know,
the more I know the more I forget,
the more I forget the less I know,
so why should I be learning??
7) What is wrong with your cell every time i call, a voice comes that the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey, plz contact zoo for detail.
Another MOON
1) Another MOON ? ………..Possible
Another SUN ? …………..Possible
Another SKY ? …………….Possible
Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible
‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice
2) Sometime my mind asks why I miss you?
Why I care for you?
Why I remember you?
Then my heart answers it’s simply because mental patient needs more care.
3) Ur smile can be compared with Flowers,
Ur voice can b compared with a cuckoo,
Ur innocence can b compared with a baby,
but in foolishness… You’ve got no comparisons
4) Someday u may lose ur hair ..
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind ..
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks ..
coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!
5) When u feel sad …
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say …
“damn I am really so cute” u will overcome your sadness …
But don’t make this a habit .. Coz liars go to hell !!!!
6) When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you…
Why should only i suffer!
Another SUN ? …………..Possible
Another SKY ? …………….Possible
Another Friend Like U ? ………Impossible
‘coz GOD can’t make the same MISTAKE twice
2) Sometime my mind asks why I miss you?
Why I care for you?
Why I remember you?
Then my heart answers it’s simply because mental patient needs more care.
3) Ur smile can be compared with Flowers,
Ur voice can b compared with a cuckoo,
Ur innocence can b compared with a baby,
but in foolishness… You’ve got no comparisons
4) Someday u may lose ur hair ..
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind ..
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks ..
coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!
5) When u feel sad …
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say …
“damn I am really so cute” u will overcome your sadness …
But don’t make this a habit .. Coz liars go to hell !!!!
6) When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you…
Why should only i suffer!
A man goes to the library
A man goes to the library and slams the book on the table and complains, “Too many characters no story”
Librarian, “So u are an idiot who took the telephone directory”
Librarian, “So u are an idiot who took the telephone directory”
Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
1) Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Pupil : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”
2) If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,
I wll come, hold ur hand,
take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.
3) Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death,
my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you’ve always been a headache!
4) A man enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?
Man replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
Pupil : “The moon”.
Teacher : “Why?”
Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”
2) If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,
I wll come, hold ur hand,
take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.
3) Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death,
my feelings 4 u have never changed.
For me, you’ve always been a headache!
4) A man enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode. Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?
Man replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
two guys were fighting after exam
1) two guys were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
guy1: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
guy1: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
2) Teacher: U have 2 score 90 % marks
Student: I will score 100 % marks
Teacher: do not joke?
Student : who started it first?
3) Pledge Of Boys:
India is my nation,
girls r my destination,
dating
is my occupation,
flirting is my profession,
what the hell is this education?
4) One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON: “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON: “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM: “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON: “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”
MOM: “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of
the school.”
5) An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
6) Dear God,
Thank u for making me healthy.
Can u also make me sexy?
If u can’t make me sexy,
plz make all my friends fat and ugly.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
guy1: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
guy1: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
2) Teacher: U have 2 score 90 % marks
Student: I will score 100 % marks
Teacher: do not joke?
Student : who started it first?
3) Pledge Of Boys:
India is my nation,
girls r my destination,
dating
is my occupation,
flirting is my profession,
what the hell is this education?
4) One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON: “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON: “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM: “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON: “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”
MOM: “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of
the school.”
5) An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
6) Dear God,
Thank u for making me healthy.
Can u also make me sexy?
If u can’t make me sexy,
plz make all my friends fat and ugly.
Mother makes her son Intelligent
Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years,
but a Girl makes him Stupid in 2 minutes
When I call you:
1 ring means - I’m missing u,
2 ring means - I like u,
3 ring means - I’m thinking of u,
4 ring means - I need u,
5 ring means - Idiot pick up the phone
Son: “Dad, are you getting taller?”
Dad: “No, why do you ask?”
Son: “Because your head is growing through your hair!”
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Teacher: Ramu,what is far moon or Mumbai?
Ramu: Mumbai, because we can see moon, but we cannot see Mumbai.
Neha: We should use soap to keep our body clean. What should we do to keep our heart clean?
Mona: I do not know. Probably we must eat the soap.
but a Girl makes him Stupid in 2 minutes
When I call you:
1 ring means - I’m missing u,
2 ring means - I like u,
3 ring means - I’m thinking of u,
4 ring means - I need u,
5 ring means - Idiot pick up the phone
Son: “Dad, are you getting taller?”
Dad: “No, why do you ask?”
Son: “Because your head is growing through your hair!”
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Teacher: Ramu,what is far moon or Mumbai?
Ramu: Mumbai, because we can see moon, but we cannot see Mumbai.
Neha: We should use soap to keep our body clean. What should we do to keep our heart clean?
Mona: I do not know. Probably we must eat the soap.
what is the price of this dress?
1) Girl: what is the price of this dress?
Shopkeeper: only 5 kiss.
Girl: what about that dress?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: pack both of them, my dad will pay you the bill.
2) Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta : I don’t believe it! you r just saying that 2 make me jealous!”
3) guy1: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
guy2: Me too, after u leave
4) A chinese pair Mr and Miss Hua, got twins without getting married. What did they name them?
Ans:
Jo Hua, So Hua.
5) A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa does not turns up for four days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
Shopkeeper: only 5 kiss.
Girl: what about that dress?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: pack both of them, my dad will pay you the bill.
2) Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta : I don’t believe it! you r just saying that 2 make me jealous!”
3) guy1: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
guy2: Me too, after u leave
4) A chinese pair Mr and Miss Hua, got twins without getting married. What did they name them?
Ans:
Jo Hua, So Hua.
5) A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa does not turns up for four days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
why did u beat your husband
judge: why did u beat your husband from chair
wife: because i could not lift the table
wife: because i could not lift the table
God saw ur parents
God saw ur parents hungry, He created “Pizzas”
God saw they are thirsty he created, “Pepsi”
He saw them walking he created, “Car”
He saw them without problems, “He created u”.
God saw they are thirsty he created, “Pepsi”
He saw them walking he created, “Car”
He saw them without problems, “He created u”.
A man was dying of cancer
1) A man was dying of cancer:
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of
AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom”
2) Chinese was in the hospital, a guy went to meet him.
Chinese said: “CHING CHONG CHU CHU” & died.
Guy went to China to know the meaning, it was - IDIOT, REMOVE UR FOOT FROM MY OXYGEN PIPE.
3) If engineers start making films, the names will be:
Current ho na ho,
Aa ab B.Tech karen,
Kabhi A.C. Kabhi D.C,
Hamari IC aapke pas hai,
Fuse lagaya to darna kya,
Engineer no.1,
Engineering koi khel nahi,
Input wale output le jayenge,
Maine engineering kyu kiya!!
4) No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,
I just want to tell YOU….
They’re none of YOUR BUSINESS
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of
AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom”
2) Chinese was in the hospital, a guy went to meet him.
Chinese said: “CHING CHONG CHU CHU” & died.
Guy went to China to know the meaning, it was - IDIOT, REMOVE UR FOOT FROM MY OXYGEN PIPE.
3) If engineers start making films, the names will be:
Current ho na ho,
Aa ab B.Tech karen,
Kabhi A.C. Kabhi D.C,
Hamari IC aapke pas hai,
Fuse lagaya to darna kya,
Engineer no.1,
Engineering koi khel nahi,
Input wale output le jayenge,
Maine engineering kyu kiya!!
4) No matter how high the sky is,
How deep the ocean is,
How strong the wind is,
How wide the river is,
I just want to tell YOU….
They’re none of YOUR BUSINESS
A girl removed her jeans and threw
1) A girl removed her jeans and threw it at her boyfriend
And said, “Make me feel like a wife”
Boy removed his jeans too, threw it at his Girl friend
and said “wash both of these”.
2) What r the 3 fastest ways of communication?
A-telephone
B-television
C-tell-a woman
3) Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
1.Too many questions.
2.Difficult to understand.
3.More explanation is needed.
4.Result is always fail!
4) Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want to be a pilot.
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Deepa: I want to be a good mother.
Ravi : I want to help Deepa.
And said, “Make me feel like a wife”
Boy removed his jeans too, threw it at his Girl friend
and said “wash both of these”.
2) What r the 3 fastest ways of communication?
A-telephone
B-television
C-tell-a woman
3) Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS:
1.Too many questions.
2.Difficult to understand.
3.More explanation is needed.
4.Result is always fail!
4) Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want to be a pilot.
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Deepa: I want to be a good mother.
Ravi : I want to help Deepa.
rose
1) Red rose: luv
Yellow rose: friendship
White rose: peace
Which rose for u?
Nima rose: Tan ki durgandh dur kare, de taazgi.
2) I need you…
I love you…
I can’t go anywhere without you…
Oh my lovely…
…
…
…
…
…
Shoes !
3) Q: Why do boys go to temples?
Ans: Bcoz temple is d only place wr u can find Pooja, Bhakti, Bhawana, Shradha, Aarti, Archna, Aaradhna, Laxmi, Jyoti…
4) I want u… To be with me in a nice restaurant
To have candle light dinner….
& To say say those sweet three words to u….
“Pay the bill”
5) Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now…..
sorry I have to leave, I can’t find a brain.
Scientists all over the world are wondering
how long a human being can live without a brain…
Kindly tell them ur age…
6) Hi jan
Hello jan!
Wats up jan?
Missing you jan…
Dont get excited with the word of jan.
Because jan is the short form of janwar
Ha ha ha ha….
Yellow rose: friendship
White rose: peace
Which rose for u?
Nima rose: Tan ki durgandh dur kare, de taazgi.
2) I need you…
I love you…
I can’t go anywhere without you…
Oh my lovely…
…
…
…
…
…
Shoes !
3) Q: Why do boys go to temples?
Ans: Bcoz temple is d only place wr u can find Pooja, Bhakti, Bhawana, Shradha, Aarti, Archna, Aaradhna, Laxmi, Jyoti…
4) I want u… To be with me in a nice restaurant
To have candle light dinner….
& To say say those sweet three words to u….
“Pay the bill”
5) Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now…..
sorry I have to leave, I can’t find a brain.
Scientists all over the world are wondering
how long a human being can live without a brain…
Kindly tell them ur age…
6) Hi jan
Hello jan!
Wats up jan?
Missing you jan…
Dont get excited with the word of jan.
Because jan is the short form of janwar
Ha ha ha ha….
Kiss is not like nokia
1) Kiss is not like nokia… Connecting people
Kiss is not like nike.. Just do it.
Kiss is not like pepsi.. Yeh dil maange more
But kiss is like pan parag.. Ek se mera kya hoga.
2) After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “you
Know, i was a fool when i married you.”
The husband replied, “yes, dear, but i was in love
And didn’t notice.”
3) Once upon a time there was someone,somebody and mad.
Someone n somebody started 2 fight then somebody died.
Then mad has 2 call the police and give evidence. Mad pick up the phone and call 10111 then policeman answered the call.
Mad: Hey police someone killed somebody.
Policeman: Are u mad.
Mad: Yes of course how do u know my name.
4) Sales man : Sir, which shaving cream do u use ?
Customer : Kumar’s.
S.M : Which after shave do y use ?
C : Kumar’s.
S.M : Which tooth paste do u use ?
C : Kumar’s ?
S.M : Which shampoo do u use ?
C : Kumar’s.
S.M : Sir , what is this kumar’s is it an international company ?
C : No, he is my room mate.
5) guy to doctor : ‘Doctor, I have a problem.’
Doctor : ‘What’s your problem?’
guy : ‘I keep forgetting things.’
Doctor : ‘Since when do you have this problem?’
guy : ‘What problem?’
Kiss is not like nike.. Just do it.
Kiss is not like pepsi.. Yeh dil maange more
But kiss is like pan parag.. Ek se mera kya hoga.
2) After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “you
Know, i was a fool when i married you.”
The husband replied, “yes, dear, but i was in love
And didn’t notice.”
3) Once upon a time there was someone,somebody and mad.
Someone n somebody started 2 fight then somebody died.
Then mad has 2 call the police and give evidence. Mad pick up the phone and call 10111 then policeman answered the call.
Mad: Hey police someone killed somebody.
Policeman: Are u mad.
Mad: Yes of course how do u know my name.
4) Sales man : Sir, which shaving cream do u use ?
Customer : Kumar’s.
S.M : Which after shave do y use ?
C : Kumar’s.
S.M : Which tooth paste do u use ?
C : Kumar’s ?
S.M : Which shampoo do u use ?
C : Kumar’s.
S.M : Sir , what is this kumar’s is it an international company ?
C : No, he is my room mate.
5) guy to doctor : ‘Doctor, I have a problem.’
Doctor : ‘What’s your problem?’
guy : ‘I keep forgetting things.’
Doctor : ‘Since when do you have this problem?’
guy : ‘What problem?’
Heated gold becomes ornament
1) Heated gold becomes ornament,
Beated copper becomes wire,
Depleted stone becomes statue,
Tortured students become… Engineers!
2) I would love
to take u for dinner,
Make u sit beside the candle,
Shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words
in your ear…
“Pay the bill”
3) When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
4) Its funny when people discuss over
Love marriage and arranged marriage
It is like asking a person if he would
Like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.
5) guy in an interview to interview person: Do you know english?
guy: Yes
interview person: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of naag panchami?
guy: So simple sir… Naag do not punch me.
Beated copper becomes wire,
Depleted stone becomes statue,
Tortured students become… Engineers!
2) I would love
to take u for dinner,
Make u sit beside the candle,
Shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words
in your ear…
“Pay the bill”
3) When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
4) Its funny when people discuss over
Love marriage and arranged marriage
It is like asking a person if he would
Like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.
5) guy in an interview to interview person: Do you know english?
guy: Yes
interview person: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of naag panchami?
guy: So simple sir… Naag do not punch me.
Woman has man in it
1) Woman has man in it,
Mrs has mr in it,
Female has male in it,
Madam has Adam in it,
So girls r always incomplete without boys.
2) guy to lady : What is the name of ur car
Lady : I forgot its name but it starts from ‘T’.
guy : ooh...its astonishing......! wonderful.....! your car starts from ‘tea’. My car starts from 'petrol'
3) Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a big car like rohit.
But i really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
4) Consequences of modern life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
5) Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 liter
6) He came at night,
Explored my body,
Got on top of me,
Touched me,
He bit, sucked swallowed &
When he was satisfied
He left, i was hurt,
Bloody MOSQUITO!
Mrs has mr in it,
Female has male in it,
Madam has Adam in it,
So girls r always incomplete without boys.
2) guy to lady : What is the name of ur car
Lady : I forgot its name but it starts from ‘T’.
guy : ooh...its astonishing......! wonderful.....! your car starts from ‘tea’. My car starts from 'petrol'
3) Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a big car like rohit.
But i really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
4) Consequences of modern life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
5) Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 liter
6) He came at night,
Explored my body,
Got on top of me,
Touched me,
He bit, sucked swallowed &
When he was satisfied
He left, i was hurt,
Bloody MOSQUITO!
A place where papa pays & son plays
1) School: A place where papa pays & son plays.
Life insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all ur
Life so that you can die rich.
Nurse: A person wakes up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: A contract in which a boy loses his bachelors degree & girl gets her master’s degree.
2) Human brain is most out standing thing.
It functions 24hrs & 365days.
It functions right from the time we born,
And it stops only when we enter inside the exam hall.
3) Some movie titles related to students:
Exams: Socha na tha
Classes: Kabhi kabhi
Question papers: Na tum jano na hum
Copying: Yaarana
Maths2: Asambhav
Maths1: Mission impossible
Environmental sciences: Pyar mein kabhi kabhi
1st semester: Kuch to hai
2nd semester: Yeh kya ho raha hai
Distinction: Kal ho na ho
1st class: Raju bangaya gentleman
2nd class: Dil mange more
Fail: Phir milenge
4) Girls problems: phone mat karo dear, mom hai near, dad se lagta hai fear,
Baat hoti nahi clear, isliye sms karo dear, without fear and very clear.
5) Once a guy said to a girl: Madam your sandal is very beautiful
Girl said in angry: shall I remove it
Guy said: Madam your jeans is also very beautiful.
6) Do you want Nokia N90 at Rs. 199/- only with FREE SIM card &
1000 SMS and 750 T.T. Free?
-
-
-
-
-
Then
-
-
-
-
-
You have to..
-
-
-
-
-
Just log on to www.SusuKarKeSoja@SapnoMeMilega.com
Life insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all ur
Life so that you can die rich.
Nurse: A person wakes up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: A contract in which a boy loses his bachelors degree & girl gets her master’s degree.
2) Human brain is most out standing thing.
It functions 24hrs & 365days.
It functions right from the time we born,
And it stops only when we enter inside the exam hall.
3) Some movie titles related to students:
Exams: Socha na tha
Classes: Kabhi kabhi
Question papers: Na tum jano na hum
Copying: Yaarana
Maths2: Asambhav
Maths1: Mission impossible
Environmental sciences: Pyar mein kabhi kabhi
1st semester: Kuch to hai
2nd semester: Yeh kya ho raha hai
Distinction: Kal ho na ho
1st class: Raju bangaya gentleman
2nd class: Dil mange more
Fail: Phir milenge
4) Girls problems: phone mat karo dear, mom hai near, dad se lagta hai fear,
Baat hoti nahi clear, isliye sms karo dear, without fear and very clear.
5) Once a guy said to a girl: Madam your sandal is very beautiful
Girl said in angry: shall I remove it
Guy said: Madam your jeans is also very beautiful.
6) Do you want Nokia N90 at Rs. 199/- only with FREE SIM card &
1000 SMS and 750 T.T. Free?
-
-
-
-
-
Then
-
-
-
-
-
You have to..
-
-
-
-
-
Just log on to www.SusuKarKeSoja@SapnoMeMilega.com
A teacher asked his class
1) A teacher asked his class to give example of coincidence.
There was silence for a few seconds.
Then a small boy said “My father and mother were married on the same day.”
2) Bachelor is like Airtel- Aise azadi aur kahan.
After married Reliance- Apni duniya biwi ki mutthi me.
After child Hutch- Wherever u go network follows.
3) A boy goes to see a cabaret dance.
His mom goes angry and asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
4) guy1: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?
guy2: Yes, Its Post office.
5) An old man needed vitamins for grandson.
old man: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir which one, vitamin A, B or C?
old man: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
6) He was searching high and low, all over the living room.
She asked him: What are you searching?
He: “Hidden cameras”
She: And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?
He: Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying,
You are watching the star world channel. “How can he know what I am watching?”
There was silence for a few seconds.
Then a small boy said “My father and mother were married on the same day.”
2) Bachelor is like Airtel- Aise azadi aur kahan.
After married Reliance- Apni duniya biwi ki mutthi me.
After child Hutch- Wherever u go network follows.
3) A boy goes to see a cabaret dance.
His mom goes angry and asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: yes, I saw dad!
4) guy1: Can u spell a word that has more than 1000 letters in it?
guy2: Yes, Its Post office.
5) An old man needed vitamins for grandson.
old man: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir which one, vitamin A, B or C?
old man: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
6) He was searching high and low, all over the living room.
She asked him: What are you searching?
He: “Hidden cameras”
She: And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?
He: Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying,
You are watching the star world channel. “How can he know what I am watching?”
Reaction of girls when they loose their purse
Reaction of girls when they loose their purse:
Poor girls: My money!
Rich girls: My debit card!
Beautiful girl: O shit! my new lipstick
***************************************************************************************
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means: Without Information Fighting Every time!
Wife says: No, It means With Idiot forever.
***************************************************************************************
Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
A: On their Wedding !
*************************************************************************************
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life!
************************************************************************************
Q: Why doesn’t the law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence !
*************************************************************************************
Poor girls: My money!
Rich girls: My debit card!
Beautiful girl: O shit! my new lipstick
***************************************************************************************
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means: Without Information Fighting Every time!
Wife says: No, It means With Idiot forever.
***************************************************************************************
Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
A: On their Wedding !
*************************************************************************************
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life!
************************************************************************************
Q: Why doesn’t the law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence !
*************************************************************************************
Feeling bored?
Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip,
Take out your…
Book from your bag and study.
***************************************************************************************
Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tongue…
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 would try it…
*************************************************************************************
Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place,
4 Me in ur heart!!
I may come there any time!
Ur’s faithfully,
“Heart Attack”
************************************************************************************
If U need ADVICE,
MSG ME.
If U need a FRIEND,
CALL ME.
If U need HELP,
E-MAIL ME.
If U need MONEY,
The number U dialed is not in service,
Plz don’t try again.
*************************************************************************************
When things go wrong,
When sadness fills your heart,
When tears flow in your eyes,
Always remember 3 things:
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go.
************************************************************************************
Twinkle twinkle little star,
I just went to royal bar,
Whisky rates are up so high,
So drink beer with chicken fry.
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip,
Take out your…
Book from your bag and study.
***************************************************************************************
Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tongue…
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 would try it…
*************************************************************************************
Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place,
4 Me in ur heart!!
I may come there any time!
Ur’s faithfully,
“Heart Attack”
************************************************************************************
If U need ADVICE,
MSG ME.
If U need a FRIEND,
CALL ME.
If U need HELP,
E-MAIL ME.
If U need MONEY,
The number U dialed is not in service,
Plz don’t try again.
*************************************************************************************
When things go wrong,
When sadness fills your heart,
When tears flow in your eyes,
Always remember 3 things:
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go.
************************************************************************************
Twinkle twinkle little star,
I just went to royal bar,
Whisky rates are up so high,
So drink beer with chicken fry.
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
Ok
A white horse fell in the mud
***************************************************************************************
guy 1 : What are you doing?
guy 2 : Washing myself, of course
guy 1 : Without soap and water?
guy 2 : Haven’t you ever heard of dry cleaning.
***************************************************************************************
My heart problem has reached a critical stage.
That doctor says:
There r only 2 options left…
ICU
Or
U C Me.
*************************************************************************************
guy1 : There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.
guy2 : Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.
guy1 : I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.
guy2 : You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?
guy1 : In the pool.
*************************************************************************************
Teacher asks a Computer Student:
What are the 3 latest versions of java?
Kid answers: MarJava, MitJava, LutJava ishq mein tere dil,
kya jaan bhi naam tere kar Java o Java Java.
************************************************************************************
Boy : Bus, Train and ladki ek jaise hote hai. ek jatihai to dusri aa jati hai.
Girl : Auto, Taxi aur ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao to 4 chale aate hai.
Ok
A white horse fell in the mud
***************************************************************************************
guy 1 : What are you doing?
guy 2 : Washing myself, of course
guy 1 : Without soap and water?
guy 2 : Haven’t you ever heard of dry cleaning.
***************************************************************************************
My heart problem has reached a critical stage.
That doctor says:
There r only 2 options left…
ICU
Or
U C Me.
*************************************************************************************
guy1 : There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.
guy2 : Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.
guy1 : I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.
guy2 : You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?
guy1 : In the pool.
*************************************************************************************
Teacher asks a Computer Student:
What are the 3 latest versions of java?
Kid answers: MarJava, MitJava, LutJava ishq mein tere dil,
kya jaan bhi naam tere kar Java o Java Java.
************************************************************************************
Boy : Bus, Train and ladki ek jaise hote hai. ek jatihai to dusri aa jati hai.
Girl : Auto, Taxi aur ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao to 4 chale aate hai.
Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: For U and ur parents.
***************************************************************************************
Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger.
son: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.
***************************************************************************************
Girl sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a Person asked what she was doing.
She replied : Higher Studies Man !!!
*************************************************************************************
Husband on phone “Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Husband: No this is her husband speaking…
*************************************************************************************
Ravan decides to apologize to Ram.
Ram opens the door.
Ravan blankly stares at Ram & can you guess what he is thinking?
" from which mouth to talk "
*************************************************************************************
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.”
Wife: Why three?
Husband: For U and ur parents.
***************************************************************************************
Dad to Son : When I beat u how do u control your anger.
son: I start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean with ur tooth brush.
***************************************************************************************
Girl sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a Person asked what she was doing.
She replied : Higher Studies Man !!!
*************************************************************************************
Husband on phone “Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Husband: No this is her husband speaking…
*************************************************************************************
Ravan decides to apologize to Ram.
Ram opens the door.
Ravan blankly stares at Ram & can you guess what he is thinking?
" from which mouth to talk "
*************************************************************************************
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.”
Hi, what’s up… listen
Hi, what’s up… listen can I get a picture of yours?
The thing is that I have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of natural disasters!
The thing is that I have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of natural disasters!
Two devils came
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said-We want 2 disturb some good person.
I suggest them ur name.
They said -We cannot disturb our boss.
They said-We want 2 disturb some good person.
I suggest them ur name.
They said -We cannot disturb our boss.
Your place or mine?
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I"m going to mine.
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I"m going to mine.
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
U r sweet like
U r sweet like
TOM
Cute like
JERRY
Naughty like
BUGS BUNNY
Clever like
ALADDIN,
Strong like
POPEYE
IN SHORT
you are a walking talking cartoon
TOM
Cute like
JERRY
Naughty like
BUGS BUNNY
Clever like
ALADDIN,
Strong like
POPEYE
IN SHORT
you are a walking talking cartoon
Correct the sentence
Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Before the marriage
Before the marriage:
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love
me ?
Boy: Of course!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from
bellow to up, start with second last line :) !!!
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love
me ?
Boy: Of course!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from
bellow to up, start with second last line :) !!!
Whats the difference
Whats the difference between Data and Information?
362436 - Data
36-24-36 Information!
362436 - Data
36-24-36 Information!
Just be gently
Just be gently… put a finger inside…
Yes… yes if one finger can’t make it,
Just put three more fingers…
That’s it! now just rub it up and down…
Yes like that….oh! yeah! oh! yeah! …
THAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO WASH A GLASS!!
Yes… yes if one finger can’t make it,
Just put three more fingers…
That’s it! now just rub it up and down…
Yes like that….oh! yeah! oh! yeah! …
THAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO WASH A GLASS!!
Why do men chase women
Why do men chase women when they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars when they have no intention of driving.
For the same reason dogs chase cars when they have no intention of driving.
What’s STUDY?
What’s STUDY?
Sitting. Talking. Unlimited. Dreaming and Yawning....so STUDY.
(don’t waste ur time)
Oh god…! I have got soooo much to STUDY…..
Sitting. Talking. Unlimited. Dreaming and Yawning....so STUDY.
(don’t waste ur time)
Oh god…! I have got soooo much to STUDY…..
Can you explain me
“Can you explain me how this lipstick got on your collar?” the suspicious wife sneered.
“No, I can’t” the husband replied. I hardly remember taking my shirt off.
“No, I can’t” the husband replied. I hardly remember taking my shirt off.
Twinkle Twinkle little star
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.
I wrote your name
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.
prisoners
First prisoner : What were you convicted for?
Second prisoner : Nothing.
First prisoner : Honestly...for nothing. I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?
Second prisoner : Nothing.
First prisoner : Honestly...for nothing. I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it?
problem
Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what I just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?
can you write in the dark
Son : Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father : I think so. What do you want me to write?
Son : Your name on this report card.
Father : I think so. What do you want me to write?
Son : Your name on this report card.
What should be there in a book
Teacher : What should be there in a book to make it best selling?
Student : A girl on the cover but no cover on the girl.
Student : A girl on the cover but no cover on the girl.
Human brain is the most
Human brain is the most outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
And stop only when we enter the examination hall.
It functions 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
And stop only when we enter the examination hall.
It’s funny
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
Once God came
Once God came up 2 me & granted me a wish.
I asked 4 “world peace”.
“That’s impossible”, he said.
Then I asked him 2 give U brain.
He said “Let me try world peace”
I asked 4 “world peace”.
“That’s impossible”, he said.
Then I asked him 2 give U brain.
He said “Let me try world peace”
Father to son after exam
Father to son after exam : Let me see your report card.
Son : My friend just took it. He wants to scare his parents.
Son : My friend just took it. He wants to scare his parents.
An elephant falls in love
An elephant falls in love with an ant.
But ant’s parents are against their marriage.
Guess why?
They gave a solid reason:
"Ladke k dat bahar hai"
But ant’s parents are against their marriage.
Guess why?
They gave a solid reason:
"Ladke k dat bahar hai"
There are 10 elephants swimming
Question : There are 10 elephants swimming in a pond. A boy jumps inside and swims underneath them and counts the number of legs. There are only 36 legs.
How???
Answer : One elephant was swimming Backstroke!!!
How???
Answer : One elephant was swimming Backstroke!!!
I want a responsible
Girl : I want a responsible man as a husband.
Man replies : That’s me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I’m responsible!
Man replies : That’s me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I’m responsible!
Why are U so lazy?
Wife : Why are you so lazy?
Husband: because I cannot sleep properly in tonight.
Wife : Why???
Husband : I was with you in my dream!
Husband: because I cannot sleep properly in tonight.
Wife : Why???
Husband : I was with you in my dream!
A girl says
A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy says, thanks for the warning!
The guy says, thanks for the warning!
Young girl praying
Young girl praying : Please God marry me with intelligent man.
God replied : Thats impossible, because intelligent men don’t get married
God replied : Thats impossible, because intelligent men don’t get married
Are you sure
Girlfriend : Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday and find no one more richer than U.
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday and find no one more richer than U.
lecture on Sun
Teacher : Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju : No ma’m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher : Why?
Raju : My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Raju : No ma’m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher : Why?
Raju : My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
A group of elephants
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by…
What does the loofer elephant say?
Wow… 3600-2400-3600
What does the loofer elephant say?
Wow… 3600-2400-3600
Is there any way for long life ?
Man : Is there any way for long life ?
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Doctor : Get married.
Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
There was this guy
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her.
They got married and now he is going through hell.
They got married and now he is going through hell.
Do you have a book
Prospective husband : Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Sales girl : The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
Sales girl : The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
A student In a interview
A student In a interview:
How does an electric motor run?
Student:dhuurrrr
Interviewer shouts: stop it.
Student: dhurr dhp dp dup dup.
How does an electric motor run?
Student:dhuurrrr
Interviewer shouts: stop it.
Student: dhurr dhp dp dup dup.
anniversary
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Man receives telegram
Man receives telegram:
Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
fly in my soup
Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.
Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.
Who is Ravan?
Who is Ravan?
Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman…
You have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman…
Now u know, who is Ravan?
Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman…
You have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman…
Now u know, who is Ravan?
When your life is in darkness
When your life is in darkness pray to God ask him to free u from darkness
And after you pray if you are still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL
And after you pray if you are still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL
Can I go to the Theater ?
Can I go to the Theater ? Asks a mosquito to her mother.
Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.
Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.
Once Professor Santa
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Husband was standing
Husband was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
wife: What are you doing?
husband: Drying sweat
wife: What are you doing?
husband: Drying sweat
visit doctor
guy1: Today u told me that u are going to visit doctor?
guy2: yeah......but i will go tomorrow, because am sick today
guy2: yeah......but i will go tomorrow, because am sick today
Those beautiful eyes
Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
brain.......Please wait........
brain.......Please wait........
Searching.......
Searching.......
Still searching........
Sorry,
No brain found !!!
Searching.......
Searching.......
Still searching........
Sorry,
No brain found !!!
two doctors looking at an Egyptian mummy
two doctors looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Doctor1:Look so many bandages, this is absolutely a truck accident case.
Doctor2: truck number is also written, BC-1760!!
Doctor1:Look so many bandages, this is absolutely a truck accident case.
Doctor2: truck number is also written, BC-1760!!
A Doctor falls in Love
A Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- "I Love U sister...."
while filling up an application form
Son, while filling up an application form.
Dad, what should I write for mother tongue?
Dad: Very long
Dad, what should I write for mother tongue?
Dad: Very long
Why do couples
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins
Husband was sitting near
Husband was sitting near to his wife and she was driving
Husband:please slow down the speed of car.
Wife:No
Husband:In the Newspaper i will publish your correct Age 55 in case of an accident wife: Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh....i will slow down
Husband:please slow down the speed of car.
Wife:No
Husband:In the Newspaper i will publish your correct Age 55 in case of an accident wife: Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh....i will slow down
can you lend me 2000 Rs?
can you lend me 2000 Rs? I need it. please help me out, I know you have it, i will return it .A man asks to ATM machine
One day prince and princess
One day prince and princess decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached prince without any message. He angered and called princess. She told stupid "This was a missed call"
This cat is cat
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYING CAT!
The rain makes all things beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
Its been a rough day
Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt and a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.I'm afraid to go to the bathroom
Birdy birdy in the sky
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
Last night
Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the hell is my roof
mobile
What happened to your mobile? I was trying to call you but I got this message: welcome to the jungle network,the monkey you are trying to call is on tree please try later.
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
If your world
If your world is spinning Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE?
NO......its high B.P
NO......its high B.P
Who said English is easy?
Who said English is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No.
1.-----I don"t have brain
2.-----I dont have sense
3.-----I am stupid
1.-----I don"t have brain
2.-----I dont have sense
3.-----I am stupid
Fill in the blank
Fill in the blank...I am your .....friend
a) Cute b) Sweet c) Loving d)Boy/Girl e)Best of all Reply is a must...
a) Cute b) Sweet c) Loving d)Boy/Girl e)Best of all Reply is a must...
Engagement
Girl: Darling, on our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Boy: Ya sure, Give me your Telephone Number
Boy: Ya sure, Give me your Telephone Number
When i open my eyes
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!
DOG RULES
DOG RULES
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.
I am flower but rose is you
I am flower but rose is you
I am star but moon is you
I am stone but diamond is you
I am sky but sun is you
I m tree but
the monkey in the tree is you
I am star but moon is you
I am stone but diamond is you
I am sky but sun is you
I m tree but
the monkey in the tree is you
A man phones a mental hospital
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27
She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty
“Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”
She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty
“Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”
Egyptian’s Children
Q: Why are Egyptian’s Children always confused?
A: Because after death, their daddy becomes the mummy.
A: Because after death, their daddy becomes the mummy.
small army
An small army troop were in a battle field and they were surrounded by the oppositions.
Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded!
Major: Excellent! Now we can attack in any direction now!
Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded!
Major: Excellent! Now we can attack in any direction now!
Can you do anything
Q: Can you do anything that other people can’t?
A: Sure, I can read my handwriting.
A: Sure, I can read my handwriting.
Said to a railroad engineer
Said to a railroad engineer:
What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?
What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer:
How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?
What was the first thing your husband said to you
Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
how was your first marriage terminated?
Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?”
Witness: “By death.”
Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”
Witness: “By death.”
Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”
Some times
Some times small things in Life hurts a lot…
If you don’t agree with me….
Then
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
TRY SITTING ON A PIN
If you don’t agree with me….
Then
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
TRY SITTING ON A PIN
Read this fast!
Read this fast!
Chai
Coffee
Chai
Coffee
Chai
Coffee
Chai
Coffee
Ok!!! Congrats!!!!
U r selected 2 work at the railway station..
Chai
Coffee
Chai
Coffee
Chai
Coffee
Chai
Coffee
Ok!!! Congrats!!!!
U r selected 2 work at the railway station..
Come here to me..
Come here to me..
Take off ur pants..
Get on top of me..
And enjoy me until u r totally satisfied..
-
-
-
-
Hey what r u thinking about u dirty mind
lovingly I’m urs TOILET!!!!
Take off ur pants..
Get on top of me..
And enjoy me until u r totally satisfied..
-
-
-
-
Hey what r u thinking about u dirty mind
lovingly I’m urs TOILET!!!!
dog’s tail
Doctor cut off my dog’s tail.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us &
I don’t want anything 2 make her think
she’s welcomed.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us &
I don’t want anything 2 make her think
she’s welcomed.
In the morning
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you,
At noon I do not eat because I think of you,
In the evening I do not eat because I think of you,
At night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
At noon I do not eat because I think of you,
In the evening I do not eat because I think of you,
At night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
Dad 5+5, how much?
Son: Dad 5+5, how much?
Dad: You fool, You don’t know this, go and get a calculator
Dad: You fool, You don’t know this, go and get a calculator
When WORDS fail
When WORDS fail, eyes speak.
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…
There is an earthquake
Wife: There is an earthquake , house is trembling..& u r sleeping?
Husband: Why do u worry? U too sleep. This is not our own house, after all rented house..
Husband: Why do u worry? U too sleep. This is not our own house, after all rented house..
I hate to see
Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy: I close my eyes.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy: I close my eyes.
monkey in plastic
Have u seen a monkey in plastic?
.
.
.
.
.
NO?......... Quickly, see your driving license.
.
.
.
.
.
NO?......... Quickly, see your driving license.
Our new neighbor
Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don’t you do that?
Husband: How can I? I don’t even know her.
Husband: How can I? I don’t even know her.
In the exam hall
In the exam hall.
Examiner : why you wrote the formula in your hand.
Student : Because my master told me that, “formulas must be in finger tips”.
Examiner : why you wrote the formula in your hand.
Student : Because my master told me that, “formulas must be in finger tips”.
Troubled youth
Troubled youth: Father I have committed many sins recently.
I am addicted to read dirty sms on my mobile phone! Please help me.
Father: Don’t worry my son! Forward your all sins to my mobile and relax!
I am addicted to read dirty sms on my mobile phone! Please help me.
Father: Don’t worry my son! Forward your all sins to my mobile and relax!
three ring circus
Marriage is a three ring circus,
It is the engagement ring,
Wedding ring and suffering.
It is the engagement ring,
Wedding ring and suffering.
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