man 1: I have the perfect son.
man 2: Does he smoke?
man 1: No, he doesn't.
man 2: Does he drink whiskey?
man1: No, he doesn't.
man 2: Does he ever come home late?
man1: No, he doesn't.
man 2: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
man 1: He will be six months old next Wednesday
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share everything with you.
Woman: Let's start from your bank account.
One Day God Tested Me
He Erased All My Memory &
Asked " Do You Remember Anyone Now ?
I Told Your Name Then God Smiled & Said
" Some Virus Can't Be Formatted "
What is the
thinnest book in the
world?
What Men know
about Women
The boy fell in love with a girl at second sight because in first sight he didn't know that she was very rich.
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the mental institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doctor, I can't swim!"
What is the difference between
Talent and Intelligence?
Walking on a tight rope
above Niagara falls is Talent.
Not trying such a thing,
is Intelligence.
1.college ------- yaadein
2.pricipal ------ Jaani Dushman
3.classes ------- kabhi kabhi
4.canteen------- kabhi alvida na kehna
5.course -------- godzilla
6.exams -------- kalyug
7.examination hall---- chamber of secret
8.exam-time ---------- qayamat se qayamt tak
9. question paper --------- paheli
10.answer paper ---------- kora kagaz
11.cheating ---------- aksar/chupke chupke
12. paper out ---------- plan
13.examiner ------------- the killer
14.last exam ----------- independence day
15.paper correction --------- andha kanoon
16.marks ----------- assambhav
17.result ----------- murder
18.pass ------------ ajjoba/ chamatkar
19. fail ----------- devdas
20.supplementary ------- aakhri raasta
21.vacation ------------- waah life hoto aisi
when you are crying…..
when you are upset….
when you are sad……
just make a call to me….because incoming is free for me…
How a BOY withdraws cash from an ATM?
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
*********
How a GIRL withdraws cash from an ATM.?
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on
SON: "Dad,there's a kid in school that calls me gay"?
DAD: "Well, go and punch him"?
SON: "No way. He's so cute
A cute new Born baby asked the Doctor
Do you have Message pack?
Doctor: ya I have but why?
Baby: Send a Message to God that have I reached safely and send My Girl Friend Soon .
My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda), you are my TVS SCOOTY (first love) and my AIWA (pure passion).
I always BPL (believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (better than the best)
You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (delivering a million smiles) for me.
This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL ( seriously fresh ) feeling for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (born tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The josh machine) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones).
If they say no, we will run away and get marry and PHILIPS (let's make things better). They will feel MIRANDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye). Trust in God who's always ! NOKIA (connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS ( made! For each other).
Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life),
SATYAM ONLINE (fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable) .
Don't worry; it is new COCA COLA (life ho to aisye!).
Ok bye! I wrote little but PEPSI ( yeh dil mange more ).
LG (digitally yours)
A Girl comes late to class.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Girl : One boy was following me,sir.
Teacher:So,What?
Girl : That boy was walking very slow.
IF BILL GATES START MAKING FILMS IN BOLLYWOOD, NAMES OF HIS FILMS MAYBE LIKE THIS
1 Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
3. Aao Chat Kare
4. Programmer No.1
5. Mera Naam Developer
6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein
8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal
9. Tera Code Chal Gaya
10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega
11. Network Ke Us Paar
12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai
14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!
15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari
16. Login Karo Sajana
17. Naukar PC Ka
18. 1942 -- A Bug Story
19. Kaho Na Virus Hai
20. Crash Se Crash Tak
21. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
22. Password De Ke Dekho
23. Terminal Apna Login Paraya
If You Want A Sweet Dream, Take One Spoon Of Sugar & Put It In Your Eyes.
If You Want Spicy Dreams, Try Chili Powder.
Cute secretary came angrily out of Boss cabin.
COLLEAGUE:- what happend?
SHE:- He asked are you free tonight?
I said yes and rascal gave me 50 pages to type.
Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle.
If 1 tyre is punchered, the vehicle cannot move further.
MORAL:-Always keep extra tyre (Girl Friend)
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his Audience. He Said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and Applause began among the audience!!!
A week later, a top manager trained by the Motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke At home. He was very tight after drinking. He said loudly to His wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my Wife!"
The wife went; "ahhhh!" with shock and rage.
Trying to recall the second Half of the joke, the manager gone unconscious.
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed, badly wounded by the boxing gloves.
Moral of the story...
Do not Copy if you can't PASTE
