UKG Boy

UKG son to his mom : I am not going to school anymore

Mom: why?

Son: I am going to do work

Mom: What work you do after studying just UKG ?

Son: I will take tuition for LKG girls

TAX STRUCTURE

1) What are you doing?
Ans : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) What are you doing in Business?
Ans : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) From where are you getting Goods?
Ans : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX & CUSTOM DUTY

4) What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Do you have Staff?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

8) Doing business in Millions?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

9) Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX

10) Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

11) Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

12) Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

13) How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

14) Do you have any Wealth?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

15) To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

16) Have you purchased House?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

17) How you Travel?
Ans : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

18) Any Additional Tax?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!


19) Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

20) Man : can I die now?
Ans : wait we are about to launch the funeral tax

Doctor to patient

Doctor to patient : You will die within two hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?

Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

Kyon chalti hai pawan

Kyon chalti hai pawan, Due to Varying pressure zone formation.
Kyon jhoome hai gagan, Because of earth's revolution.
Kyon machalta hai mann, Problems with respiration.
Na tum jaano na hum. But I have just given all the reasons!
Kyon aati hai bahaar, Because of a change in season,
Kyon lutata hai karaar, Suffering from mental tension.
Kyon hota hai pyar, Because of opposites attraction.
Na tum jaano na hum. Seems you did not pay enough attention.
Kyon gum hai har disha, Because you have a poor sense of direction.
Kyon hota hai nasha, Because of drug addiction.
Kyon aata hai mazaa, Brains response to physical sensation.
Na tum jaano na hum. Even after all the explanations.....

A man was getting into

A man was getting into the shower just as his wife was finishing up her shower, at the same time the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel...'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob; after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

The husband asks, 'Did he say anything about giving back my $800 ?'

In An Interview

Manager asked to a man at an interview.

Can you spell a word that has more than 15 letters in it?

Man replied: POSTBOX.

A Philosopher was giving speech

A Philosopher was giving speech to the people. He told to the people, “Always listen to your wife as she gives 100% sound advice.”

People asked him, “Please Sir, tell in details how the wife gives 100% sound advice?”

The Philosopher replied, “99% sound and 1% advice.”