Student: Keep it in the cow.
What happens to a boy
Teacher: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
Student: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Student: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
How To Make A Woman Happy
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6.. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37.. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Small Smile
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6.. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a physiotherapist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24.. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37.. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Small Smile
Doctor To Patient
Patient: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.
Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.
Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.
Need one girl
Hi!...Need one girl to marry......Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own Bar........cheers..!!
An American Marriage
An American Daughter: Dad, I got married yesterday evening. I forgot to inform you.
Daddy: Its ok my child. But next time you should invite me.
Daddy: Its ok my child. But next time you should invite me.
A man received a letter
A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you do not promise to send us $100,000, we promise you, we will kidnap your wife."
The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I cannot keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I cannot keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
A man placed some flowers
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I have ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A parent? A child?
The mourner took a moment and then replied, "My wife's first husband."
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I have ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A parent? A child?
The mourner took a moment and then replied, "My wife's first husband."
Funny Movie Cricket Climax
Bollywood:-
Shahrukh, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball......
bowler bowls it and Shahrukh glides it to 3rd man....
the ball goes to boundary line Shahrukh runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw,
ShahRukh runs again for 3 , this time fielder tactic fully throws at Keepers end, Keeper Misses it goes for a 4 runs. In the background Vande Mathram....
Shahruk wins the match.......
Tollywood:-
Cheeru, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........
Bowler bowls it and Cheeru hits with tremendous power.....
the ball goes far away and umpires are forced to give 12 runs for that.
Cheeru wins the match.......
Kollywood:-
Rajni, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........
Bowler bowls it and Rajini hits with tremendous power......
the ball splits into "two" 1 half goes to SIX..... The other half goes to four......
Rajini wins the match......
Shahrukh, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball......
bowler bowls it and Shahrukh glides it to 3rd man....
the ball goes to boundary line Shahrukh runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw,
ShahRukh runs again for 3 , this time fielder tactic fully throws at Keepers end, Keeper Misses it goes for a 4 runs. In the background Vande Mathram....
Shahruk wins the match.......
Tollywood:-
Cheeru, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........
Bowler bowls it and Cheeru hits with tremendous power.....
the ball goes far away and umpires are forced to give 12 runs for that.
Cheeru wins the match.......
Kollywood:-
Rajni, the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball........
Bowler bowls it and Rajini hits with tremendous power......
the ball splits into "two" 1 half goes to SIX..... The other half goes to four......
Rajini wins the match......
Computer Vs. Hindi Films
Computer Vs. Hindi Films:-
1) Pentium III & Pentium I -----Bade miyan Chhote miyan.
2) Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.
3) Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.
4) F1 - Guide.
5) Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.
6) Ctrl Alt Del - AkhriRastaa.
7) CrtlC CtrlV - Duplicate.
8) Undo - Aa ab lautchale.
9) Super User Password - Gupt.
10) BackUp - Jaagteraho.
11) UPS - Janta Hawaldar.
12) Server -Godfather.
13) Proxy Server - Padosan.
14) Security -Nakabandi.
15) Storage - Tehkhana.
16) Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Dadhi.
17) Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.
18) Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.
19)System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.
20) Dumb Terminal - Anari.
21) Mouse - Jaanwar.
22) Hard Disk partition- Batwara.
23) Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.
24)Temporary file - Khote Sikkey.
25) Operator vs Computer - Mein khiladi Tu Anadi
1) Pentium III & Pentium I -----Bade miyan Chhote miyan.
2) Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.
3) Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.
4) F1 - Guide.
5) Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.
6) Ctrl Alt Del - AkhriRastaa.
7) CrtlC CtrlV - Duplicate.
8) Undo - Aa ab lautchale.
9) Super User Password - Gupt.
10) BackUp - Jaagteraho.
11) UPS - Janta Hawaldar.
12) Server -Godfather.
13) Proxy Server - Padosan.
14) Security -Nakabandi.
15) Storage - Tehkhana.
16) Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Dadhi.
17) Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.
18) Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.
19)System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.
20) Dumb Terminal - Anari.
21) Mouse - Jaanwar.
22) Hard Disk partition- Batwara.
23) Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.
24)Temporary file - Khote Sikkey.
25) Operator vs Computer - Mein khiladi Tu Anadi
Dirty SMS
If you do not like dirty SMS don't read this......
A beautiful white dog fell in mud & got DIRTY!!!
ha ha ha......
A beautiful white dog fell in mud & got DIRTY!!!
ha ha ha......
Great people
Great people talk about ideas
Average people talk about things
Small people talk about other people and
the legends never talk they just send SMS like this!
Average people talk about things
Small people talk about other people and
the legends never talk they just send SMS like this!
There Was A Pond
There Was A Pond In It There Were 20 Fishes. One Of Them Died, Suddenly Water Increased 1 Liter, Guess How…
.
.
.
.
.
All other fishes started crying …
.
.
.
.
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All other fishes started crying …
You are 70% smart
You are 70% smart
You are 75% sweet
You are 85% naughty
You are 90% cute
You are 100% lovely
Totally you are
70+ 75+ 85+ 90+ 100= 420
So you are 420
You are 75% sweet
You are 85% naughty
You are 90% cute
You are 100% lovely
Totally you are
70+ 75+ 85+ 90+ 100= 420
So you are 420
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