In those days, it was Alibaba and Forty Thieves
Now
it is Alibaba and Thirty Thieves
WHY?
What happened?
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Recession Boss!!!
Alibaba has removed ten thieves from his group…
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You will marry
You will marry by all means. If you get a good wife then you will be very happy. If you get a bad wife you will become a philosopher.
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Gift
Wife: Last night I saw you in a dream that you gifted me jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah........ and I saw your dad was paying the bill!
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Husband: yeah........ and I saw your dad was paying the bill!
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A boy tells
A boy tells his mother that he has seen a boy and a girl sitting at the top of the roof and kissing. His mother tells him that they are going to get married.
Then the boy asks his mother: When is dad going to marry the maid?
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Then the boy asks his mother: When is dad going to marry the maid?
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Photo In Wallet
Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. What is the reason?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how big, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am in your life?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can be greater than this one?
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Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how big, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am in your life?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can be greater than this one?
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Choices
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband: Yes....What are my choices?
Wife: Yes or No.
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Husband: Yes....What are my choices?
Wife: Yes or No.
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Expiry Date
Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...? You have been reading our marriage certificate from two hours.
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.
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Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...? You have been reading our marriage certificate from two hours.
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.
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A Boy Wrote A Love Letter
A Boy Wrote A Love Letter From His Blood For A Medical Girl And Said "Please Give Me Your Reply Soon And Surly". Next Day The Girl Replied...........
Blood Group Is B+
Hemoglobin Is 8gm
Sugar Is 120
Pending Fees Is 180/-
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Blood Group Is B+
Hemoglobin Is 8gm
Sugar Is 120
Pending Fees Is 180/-
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The Bad NEWS
Surgeon: I have some bad news and some very bad news for you.
Patient: OK. Tell me the bad news first.
Surgeon: We received your test results from lab. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS.......! That's horrible.....! What's the very bad news?
Surgeon: I have been trying to reach and tell you this since yesterday.
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Patient: OK. Tell me the bad news first.
Surgeon: We received your test results from lab. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS.......! That's horrible.....! What's the very bad news?
Surgeon: I have been trying to reach and tell you this since yesterday.
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I lost my dog
Man: I lost my dog.
Police: Put an advertisement in newspaper.
Man: Do not be silly. My Dog cannot read newspaper!
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Police: Put an advertisement in newspaper.
Man: Do not be silly. My Dog cannot read newspaper!
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Future Tense
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence to future tense.
Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail"
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Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail"
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You love someone
You love someone
You marry to someone else.
The one you marry becomes your wife or husband.
And the one you loved becomes the password of your E-Mail ID
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You marry to someone else.
The one you marry becomes your wife or husband.
And the one you loved becomes the password of your E-Mail ID
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Bank Robbery Joke
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks,' Did you
see me rob this bank?
The man replied, 'Yes, I saw you rob the bank.'
The robber then shot him and killed him. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man.......'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't see, but my wife saw you rob the bank!'
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Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks,' Did you
see me rob this bank?
The man replied, 'Yes, I saw you rob the bank.'
The robber then shot him and killed him. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man.......'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't see, but my wife saw you rob the bank!'
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dance bar
The first topless dance bar of India opened in Mumbai in 1948.
Good News : It is still open
Bad News : The same girls are still dancing.
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Good News : It is still open
Bad News : The same girls are still dancing.
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A woman writes to the Technical support Guy
A woman writes to the Technical support Guy........
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
What can I do?
She got a reply back from the Technical Support Guy.
Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember....... overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Tech Support
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Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
What can I do?
She got a reply back from the Technical Support Guy.
Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: I thought you loved me and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember....... overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Tech Support
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woodcutter joke
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the God appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The God went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the God asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The God again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the God asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, ""No.""
The God went down again and came up with an iron Axe. ""Is this your axe?"" the God asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The God was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later, the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the God again appeared and asked him, ""Why are you crying?""
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The God went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the God asked..
""Yes,"" cried the woodcutter.
The God was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, ""Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .""
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The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The God went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the God asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The God again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the God asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, ""No.""
The God went down again and came up with an iron Axe. ""Is this your axe?"" the God asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The God was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later, the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the God again appeared and asked him, ""Why are you crying?""
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The God went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the God asked..
""Yes,"" cried the woodcutter.
The God was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, ""Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .""
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